Nothing New

I should know better than to put my trust in people. In men, rather than in God.

CJ’s Birthday Plans

Last night was so heartbreaking, but nothing new. Picture 16-year-old Mindy who called her Uncle Rob and me to ask if we could take her dad, CJ to dinner on Wednesday night. He works 3rd shift and so he’s just waking up at 8 PM. Rob agreed, even though we’d had other dinner plans.

So at 8, we picked up Mindy from her house. Her hair was all pulled back and curled on the ends. Her make-up was flawless, and she was wearing new jeans, heels, and a fitted shirt with a collar. This is the 16-year-old who loves ratty jeans and tees. She was a vision, and just as beautiful as Rob and CJ’s sister at that age.

Plans Foiled

About 5 minutes later, Mindy knocked on her dad’s door and went inside. Several more minutes later, she came out looking dejected and sullen. CJ came out too, and waved us all off. Apparently some time this week he’d been fired from his job (No surprise there. Why work if Mom will pay your bills for you?)

CJ said he’d just gotten to sleep and he wants to go on Saturday. Mindy was so sad, and mad, and the more she told me about the situation, the madder I got on her behalf. (I know that’s not scriptural, but we were dealing with the kid here, and I couldn’t help it. Eventually I DID help it, and I’m just disappointed today.)

Mc D’s it is

Finally we decided on Mc Donald’s, because none of us wanted to spend the kind of money we’d planned on if our dinner date was only delayed a few days. This is where I get so angry, because life doesn’t give you second chances like this, and CJ gets them from his family all the time!

Mindy looked up at me with super-innocent eyes and asked if she could get a number 5 plus a hot fudge sundae. I told her get whatever she wanted, so she promptly ordered her heart out. I mentioned whilst standing at the counter, and again when we sat down that it was highly interesting to me that Mindy would offer to take her dad to a $15 a plate steak dinner, plus herself, and here she is assuming that Rob and I will pay for her dinner.

Aghast and Agog

Finally after the second time mentioning it, she looked at the receipt and added up everything she ordered (which was half our bill) and added tax, and offered to pay for hers. I  told her it was completely OK and we were glad to pay for her meal, but that she needs to bear in mind that she can’t always assume someone else is footing the bill. We told her that it’s one thing if she doesn’t have the money, but to go on asking people to pay your way when you have just finished bragging about having $50 in your purse is quite another thing.

It wasn’t just a one-time thing. Mindy’s done this for years, bragging about how much money she has, and then assuming others will pay for her. We want to make sure she’s not going to end up like her dad, and be 41 years old and have her momma or US pay her bills because she doesn’t feel like working, or the world is against her.

Off My Soapbox

OK I’m off my soapbox now. We really did have a nice time talking with Mindy last night, and probably a nicer time than we’d had if her dad was there. It’s funny how Mindy is able to function as a family with Rob and me, and with her mom and the menagerie of siblings at that house, and also with just her dad. She’s a very flexible kid.

And we’re blessed beyond reason to have half-raised her.

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