Fireflies 2007
I think perhaps I do a post each year on fireflies. The above is actually just a table decoration imitating fireflies, but I thought it was pretty, so here it is to stay!
What a wonderful few days we’ve had. I worked so hard today, but it was good and kept my mind off of matters with Mindy. Rob was able to get his sermon finished and some yardwork done. And best of all, we took the dogs for a ride out to my folks’ house in the country. On the way home, we saw fireflies for miles and miles.
God still speaks to us through the beauty of His creation. He sometimes speaks to our hearts, and sometimes, when we’re putting up a big fuss, we can’t hear that still small voice of His, saying, “I love you, my child.” But He’s still there.
I still haven’t cried yet. I often get over my bad feelings about a situation by crying, and I just can’t do that about the Mindy stuff right now. I feel like if I start, I’ll never stop. And we’re just too busy for me to let go.
In the mean time, I have written her a letter, very short and unconditionally loving. OK there were two minor stabs in the letter, I can’t lie about them. One toward her grandma, Bebe for being a relentless, shove-God-down-your-throat-Bible-thumper, and the other toward her mom for telling everyone about her situation. But I was unconditionally loving toward Mindy. And that’s what counts.
This is Mindy’s favorite time of year, because she usually comes over for the night and we have bonfires and roast marshmallows and look at the stars and name constellations. Except for the letter, I have had no contact with Mindy at all. Frankly, I don’t want contact with her right now. I just can’t.
And yet I know if she called me and had an emergency, I’d throw on some shoes, and a robe over my nightgown, and away I’d fly, to find my little girl and make sure she’s OK.
June 17, 2007 at 2:57 am
peace from God, through our Lord, jesus Christ. Shalom
what a gift that letter is to Mindy, I pray she receives it well.
June 17, 2007 at 9:07 pm
I have the very same feelings about my sister in law! She has broken my heart through the years…and taken advantage of A and I’s love for her….but yet…if she EVER needs me, I am there in a flash! It is what we do….we love…unconditionally! And our heart shows it sometimes….but it is what we are called to do!
Love you my friend!
Jennifer
June 17, 2007 at 10:07 pm
I grew up in Illinois(Chicago and suburbs), and I loved fireflies as a girl. We called them lightning bugs and used to get big jars so we could go out and catch them. Unfortunately, we don’t have them here in California. I guess June bugs will have to do.
June 18, 2007 at 4:07 pm
I love your posts, Jay. They are always such a joy to read, whether it’s a sad topic; a happy topic. Your description of taking the dogs out and coming home and seeing the fire-flies; I could just picture you with your beloved pets and i swear I can see the hundreds of fire-flies so clearly right now in my mind. Jay, I think maybe you should just have yourself a good cry and get it out. Sometimes holding it in will make you ill. Best always!
June 18, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Yes, He does still reveal himself through Creation.
My heart is so burdened for you, friend. I will pray for you.
Blessings,
Sherri