Not Who I Was

I had an epiphany last night. I had been playing my piano for a long time and was working on a new hymn. I was so moved by the words and just laid my head on the piano and cried. I’m so thankful that I am not the same person as I was at my lowest.

I pray that I won’t ever get over the awesomeoness of being this new creation. I’m riding high right now. I know I won’t always feel as great as I do this minute, but God’s mercies are new every morning. I know I am loved. I know that even with the uncertainty of dealing with infertility, God loves me, Rob loves me, and I am happy. I’m just plain happy in my life these days.

 I’m so glad that I’m not who I was. 

I’m Not Who I Was

by Brandon Heath

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I’m not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I’m not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it’s a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I’m not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe ’cause I want it so much
I’m not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that’s what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was

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