Psychotic Break
I only wish that the ramp-up to Holidays with my family was a Psychotic Break.
The facts are quite simple:
- My brother is a class-A Jerk.
- My sister isn’t willing to help with making plans because she’s “in school and has a final coming up.”
- I, on the other hand, need to “buck up! You just have a job. You should quit if it’s so much stress on you.”
So now that it’s settled, let’s see:
I called James’ wife Darla to make plans for when Dotty is here at Christmas. James answered Darla’s phone and was quite indignant that I was trying to make plans. He told me, “I’ll have her call you sometime, alright? We’ve got people over. Geez. Let me go.”
And Dotty-fair… never ceases to remind me that I haven’t been to her place of dwelling for 7 years. Sorry all you west-coasters, but I haven’t the desire to come out that way. I just don’t wanna. Spending vacation time with family always turns into a disaster for me.
Maybe it’s me?
Maybe it is just me. Because so many people in my life are intent on showing me all the ways I don’t amount to a pile of crap, and that I should do whatever they tell me to.
Well guess what, friends! I’m not about that. At all.
I’m my own person for crying out loud! I am going to be 35 in a month (yeah I just wrote that. I’m proud of me for living this long, dang it!) and I can’t live in my sib’s shadows and I can’t please everyone. I’d die trying, wouldn’t I?
So then I have to ask myself, “Who do I really want to please?”
The short list:
- God
- Rob
- Me
At Jesus Plus Nothing, I read that pleasing God has to do with our faith in Him. Next is the attitude of our hearts, and following His will for our lives. All this remembering that God loves me where I am, in my current state.
To please Rob, gosh… I just gotta be me. Rob loves me how I am, and we can grow and change together. We have grown and changed and we’re quite strong with God as the head of our marriage.
To please me? Well it wouldn’t be so hard if I just knew what I wanted. OK I’m thinking about and here’s what I want: to go to bed.
Goodnight!
I actually feel a lot better now.
December 4, 2007 at 1:56 am
hey, its not about the coast, its the mountains, if you came here, like someone GAVE you the vacation as a gift, you would love it, ( most likely)
or at l;east have a new perspective. I would dearly love to come see Michigan and your great lakes, it is on my list.
Shalom, peace.
December 4, 2007 at 2:46 am
Jayleigh, you read my heart!!! Not thirty minutes ago I was pouring my heart out to my husband about similar sibling issues. I love what you said about
“so many people in my life are intent on showing me all the ways I don’t amount to a pile of crap, and that I should do whatever they tell me to.”
that is EXACTLY how I feel today!!!!
I also love this part…
“At Jesus Plus Nothing, I read that pleasing God has to do with our faith in Him. Next is the attitude of our hearts, and following His will for our lives. All this remembering that God loves me where I am, in my current state.”
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that…and how much it ministered to me.
Blessings & hugs
December 4, 2007 at 7:58 am
I like your “short list” and by placing God first and foremost, all else falls into place. The opinions of others are trite compared to the acceptance we have in Jesus Christ…
Blessings to you
hugs
donna
December 4, 2007 at 10:11 am
I catch flake EVERY YEAR that I have been married for not going to visit my family (which is my extended family - and a 11 hour drive). Your priorities are Right ON! Hoping you get a peaceful holiday season
December 4, 2007 at 11:29 am
I, too, love your short list. That’s basically mine, with Mr. Cinder and the kids being #2. Those are the people I’m around all the time and therefore, they’re the ones I needed to be the most devoted to.
I’ll be praying for you as the holidays approach…that it’ll be a peaceful and blessed one.
Lots of (((HUGS))) and blessings your way ;D!
December 4, 2007 at 11:18 pm
I do like the way you worked out those problems - good job!
ec
December 5, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I have always been a people pleaser esp family. I have come to release some of those pressures over the years but it’s hard! I havea hard time balancing things that they bring up that I should change (from God) and what is just lack of understanding, kindness, etc.
It seems I always miss family until I am around them too long
I hope your Christmas is filled with many blessings.
December 12, 2007 at 8:37 am
I hear you…
I said those exact same words the other day ” I am my own person” why don’t people accept me for who I am and not put me down all the time. People in my life …. they really really do not know me at all! it’s sad and I’ve found myself on a pitty party lately and I know that’s not good and that it shouldn’t matter… but it should
woe. sorry… shouldn’t rant on here. hugs Jay.
December 14, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Well, no one can ever really please family, can they? I know I can never please mine.
Love,
Christy