Whispering Hope
The weather in my heart this afternoon was bleak, but a series of events not under my own control led to unbelievable sunshine.
1. My Aunt Laurel called and asked us to pick up a batch of cookies from her home before we went to my folks’ for Easter Dinner/ Rob’s birthday. We got there and chatted for a 
few, then Aunt Liesl gave me a bag containing a yellow and white crocheted baby blanket.
Her grandmother (my step-great grandmother who passed away when I was 4), made this for her. Aunt Leisl is 46, and had a miscarriage 3 years ago. She promptly got her tubes tied afterward because her heart was hurting so. She never wanted to try again.
Now, Leisl is in the Lord, and He is in her… so her thoughts have changed on a great many subjects. It’s hard for her to forgive herself, but she said that she wanted me to have it, to use on my own baby, an adopted baby, or a foster baby, or all 3.
To me, it was a way for Leisl to honor and validate my feelings from the last week, and while it was melancholy for her, it brought my heart a sense of peace.
2. Dinner at my parents was such fun. Grandma Patty was there and she’s always amazing. She married my dad’s dad when I was a little kid and we get along so well. It was total therapy for my heart to laugh so much. And to see Grandma Patty come out so well after all her chemo from a year ago makes my heart so glad!
3. I just got off the phone with my twin sis, Dotty. She WILL NOT let me get discouraged. She says the Lord keeps telling her to not let me fall down into discouragement. Dotty is an amazing woman, though not always the most encouraging and supportive in my life. But tonight I couldn’t stop her. She spouted off for over 30 minutes about how I should not lose hope and that I am supposed to keep the faith.
“I’m a loser on my own,” said Dotty. “I’m nothing without Jesus. And HE’s telling me not to let you lose hope. HE is telling me that your time is right around the corner.”
To hear my sister say this was quite a miracle. I love her dearly.
4. I just read an update on our friends, The Mag Family, whose son was completely paralyzed on the day of his graduation open-house last May. In the last week, he’s actually squeezed the hand of his mom (on his own, without electrical stimulation!) and he’s played tic-tac-toe on a computer device that scans his eyes and responds according to what he’s looking at. It’s hard to qualify Micah’s situation as a tragedy when he’s making so much progress and has so many people praying for him. PRAISE GOD!
I look at my life and have to laugh at my oppression from earlier in the day. Not that it doesn’t matter, but that I don’t have to let it rule my life. I feel so out of control these last few days, but I know the One who IS in control. I know the one who loves me more than I can imagine, and who’s cried more tears than me about this situation.
My Lord and Saviour, who was resurrected on Easter so many years ago. Hallelujah!
March 24, 2008 at 6:51 am
What a beautiful sentiment and praise to the Easter Blessing
March 24, 2008 at 9:01 pm
J-I’m glad you had a good but busy day on Easter Sunday. This is one day of the year that I really miss being close to family. Celebrating our Lord’s resurrection is wonderful, just more fun when you have family around!
I long ago heard the quote “God doesn’t waste a hurt.” At the time it seemed like another little quote that people say just to make hurting people feel better. Now, though, I know its truth. Nearly every “hurt” I have had in my life I have been able to use to empathize with others going through similar situations. I can only pray that God is preparing you for a great ministry to people hurting in the ways that you have felt pain in your life. Infertility, failed adoptions, pastor’s wife issues…and I could go on. Not that it makes the pain any less, but it does seem to give the pain a purpose. I try to remember this when I feel the pain of different issues rearing it’s head once again…God is giving me another perspective to minister to His people.
Just my ramblings…take them or leave them. :o)
Easter Blessings my dear friend…Ps…tell your hubby “Belated Happy Birthday!” for me!!
Andie
March 24, 2008 at 9:02 pm
It astounds me how much we’re alike. And how similar our current blog entries are. LOL
God bless
March 25, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Thank you so much for your prayers, and for your super sweet comment on my blog.
Please know that you guys are in my prayers, too. You mentioned that sometimes you feel like you should “just get over it” and “stop being so sad”. Don’t tell yourself that. Why wouldn’t you be sad? Of course you’re sad! You need time to process all of it, and to grieve. I don’t know why people wouldn’t understand that.
I wish I could give you a BIG hug and some chocolate.
Just know that you’re in my prayers.
God bless